CHECK YO'SELF

Yo, have you ever had a moment, series or whole run of them where things just are out of control – actually, where you are out of control?

Where you just have all this stuff going on in your head, and you’re running around like a chook with their head cut off?

Dancing to some frenetic tune that can’t actually be heard, but it’s like someone else is pulling your strings?

Yeah. Me too.

In fact, I’ve just had the best part of a week where I totally didn’t live the wisdom of the words in the ‘Donation of Drama’ section.

Out of my usual routine and rhythm, not focusing on putting all my attention back into getting back on track, things just went one step further, and further and then further away again from what I know myself to be, when I am true to my core.

What did that look like?

Messy.

I was calling friends and no-one was answering and I got whipped into a frenzy where I (almost) didn’t know what the hell was going on.

But, embarrassingly, when a friend called back and pointed out that I was in all sorts of drama, I realised I had created the whole storm.

You know that phrase, storm in a teacup?

Yep, well, the thunder and lightening seemed not just frightening (to pun a song), it actually seemed very, very real.

But I had had a huge hand in creating it.

Now, one of the things we need to note at this point is that sometimes when the shizzle goes down, we can put the boot in.

"Oh, I’m so terrible, I can’t believe I …"

But that is all part of the down cycle.

It’s time to put the cricket bat down (as a friend once said to me), and return to being gentle on yourself.

We’ve all heard parents (and maybe experienced it) being harsh on their kids. Yelling and stuff.

But while we might come in with judgement (two hands in the air, friends), we have no idea what the trajectory of the interaction has been to lead to that response.

Now, I’m not condoning harshness, yelling, or whacking anyone (least of all yourself), but sometimes we need to check our trajectory.

In the words of one of my friend’s kids:

“Check yo’self”!

This is appropriate in the moment were we can feel that we are not ourselves, when we are being a bit silly, when we are pushing a barrow up a hill that really is nothing at all, but we are making heavy weather of it.

We can put all our emphasis on the undulations of every speck of dirt, describing in great detail the dirtiness of that dirt.

Well, it’s dirt! It was always going to be dirty.

And what are you doing rolling around in all that dirt anyway?

Just add water, and you get the muddy analogy.

When it all boils down to it, we are not actually dirt.

We are not made of dirt.

And we are not actually all that dirty.

It might seem like it when we have been rolling around in it for (days, weeks, months, years, lives).

We simply spill a bit of crud on ourselves and then spend so much energy pointing that out to people, asking (if not demanding) sympathy for it, sucking them in to sharing all about their dirt, and all of a sudden, lo and behold, you have life.

Yes, that is what we contribute to when we don’t simply just pull our socks up (or wash them, whatever the case may be), and get on with it.

We know exactly what we have to do.

It’s all given to us, and we simply need to put in place the footsteps to enact it.

So if you’re in the delay of:

“I don’t want to start that assignment”,

“oh, this is stupid”,

“oh, no one really cares anyway”,

in the comparison of

“oh Julie/Joe/Judy/John (insert whomsoever your arch-nemesis is, and/or update the names for your era) always gets all the attention, why should I bother”,

“nothing I ever do is never good enough”,

you are not only selling yourself short, you are selling the whole world short.

You think I’m kidding?

You have an enormous place in the universe; you mean the world.

Literally, a whole world – that is your very real importance.

And we walk around with a speck of mud on our shirts, moaning like the donkey in Winnie the Pooh, (Eeyore) – and we think we ARE that speck of mud!

Talk about crazy!!!

So, if you find yourself indulging in making or eating mud pies, check yo’self!

Check in with your true self, the one that shines all that light in the world, and then?

Just get on with it.

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